


you'll be breaking my heart (if you don't stay)

by baevenreyes



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Meet-Cute, drunk!Kara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-02 12:03:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16304855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baevenreyes/pseuds/baevenreyes
Summary: Kara just wants one friend who doesn't fall in love with her. Just one. Is that too much to ask?orLena saves Kara from a creepy guy in a club.orA mess of slightly drunk Kara, a very brief period of fake dating, and some good old misunderstandings that lead to mutual pining (but also only for a very short period).





	1. Kara meets Lena

**Author's Note:**

> It doesn't even really count as pining, tbh, except maybe a little for Lena. Or fake dating. This is just fluff. (In which I wanted to write a fake dating AU but couldn't get past the logic hole of "why don't they just talk to each other" so it turned into this instead.)
> 
> Enjoy!

You really, really wish you could just have one normal friend. Just one single friend who doesn’t develop romantic feelings for you somewhere along the way. That’s not too much to ask, is it? You don’t want to complain about people liking you, or whatever, but you just always feel so _bad_ about rejecting them, and then it’s inevitably awkward, and ugh. Can’t you just have one friend who’s just a friend?

It started with Winn, in freshman year at NCU. You bonded over your shared love of cardigans, your general dorkiness, and your intense hatred of any green foods. It was nice, and you were glad to have made a friend so soon after leaving home. Then Winn tried to kiss you one day and you had to let him down easy - you still cringe when you think about it. Your friendship had taken _so_ long to recover - but at least it had. It didn’t hurt that Winn met Jesse at the beginning of your sophomore year and the two of them are now almost celebrating their two year anniversary. So you and Winn? You’re cool now, best buds. (You almost giggle at the reminder of Winn referring to the two of you as the _best bi buds_ on one of his drunker nights.)

Which is way more than you can say for James. Your relationship with him had never really recovered after you tried to date. (You’d tried, given him a chance, because sure, you thought he was attractive, and you’d felt too damn _guilty_ to just turn him down off the bat.) It just didn’t work - you didn’t feel about him like he obviously felt about you - and you suspect James’s ego had taken a bigger hit than he let on. You still talk, though almost exclusively when the whole group hangs out, but he just hasn’t been the same with you since.

James’s change in demeanor might also have something to do with the fact that his ex-girlfriend Lucy Lane was the next one to admit to feelings for you - not that you had done anything about it. You didn’t return the feelings, there was the whole James thing, and also, Alex was crushing on Lucy pretty hard by then. (The two of them had finally gotten their shit together about six months ago - after a whole friends with benefits thing at first, but that’s a story for another day.)

Then there was Adam last semester - you were paired up for a project, and he asked you out after the final hand-in. You didn’t even see it coming that time, you were completely oblivious. Sure, you got along well, and you thought you could remain friends after the project was over, but you really didn’t think anything romantic would ever happen between you. (Adam disagreed, and he isn’t talking to you anymore, he hadn’t taken the rejection well at all.)

After that there was Eve, another reporter at the university’s newspaper, who you’d gotten close to when you were both just starting out. You published a piece about the Pride celebrations on campus earlier this year, in which you also effectively came out, and she asked you out the next day. Before that, there had been no indication whatsoever that she felt anything romantic towards you, and you’d thought you finally had a friend who wouldn’t _do_ this. But no, and _of course_ now you have another awkwardly strained friendship in your life.

And that brings you to Mike - the guy who isn’t even really your friend, but also works with you at the paper. (Though not even that, really - you write for the paper, Mike just delivers them to where they need to go.) He was nice, you guess, and he’s taken to hanging out with your group of friends over the last few months. Which is why you find yourself in this position - you’re at a club, celebrating the end of midterm exams with your sister and all your friends, and Mike followed you to the bar when you offered to get the next round.

“So really, Kara, what reason do you have for not at least giving it a shot?” He’s been arguing his case since the moment he started talking, and you’re running out of creative ways to say no. And now this? Nevermind that _I don’t want to_ is a perfectly good reason, Mike’s become kind of creepy, what with the inappropriate come ons and such, and there’s just something about his face that… doesn’t work for you. You think his forehead-to-nose ratio is slightly off? You’re not sure. He’s just not the kind of guy you can see yourself dating at all, and this conversation is making you uncomfortable, but you’re just too damn nice to tell him to fuck off. Can’t Alex or Lucy or someone come save you? Also, why is the bartender taking so long with the drinks? You’ve had a few already, your filters aren’t what they could be, and you’re pretty sure you’re going to say ro do something you’ll regret if something doesn’t happen soon.

Mike’s saying something about _magic in the bedroom_ and you’re really glad you tuned out a few minutes ago, when an arm slips softly around your waist and someone whispers in your ear, “You look uncomfortable, follow my lead.” There’s the faintest press of lips to your cheek and you look down to find a girl tucked into your side, subtly glaring at Mike, and you’re proud of your slightly sluggish brain for catching on as you relax into her hold. (She’s saving you from the creepy guy, girl code, right?)

“Hey, babe, who’s your friend?” You almost sigh in relief that you read the situation right. _Bless this girl._

“I was just telling Mike here that I _really_ don’t want to go home with him. Mike, this is my girlfriend - “

She flawlessly interjects, “Lena.” You do an internal fist pump, now someone just has to drop your name -

“Kara didn’t mention she had a girlfriend,” Mike says, slightly suspicious, but at least now Lena knows your name.

“It’s still really new,” you try to convince him, “and I was trying to let you down easy. Can you leave me alone now?”

He gives you that smile he thinks is charming, the one that always makes your stomach crawl, and you know what’s going to come out of his mouth before it does. (Why are guys so predictable?)

“I mean, I could… Or you two could both come -”

Lena steps forward, and you want to laugh when Mike takes a step back, fear obvious on his face. Though, truthfully, you’d be scared too, if that glare was directed at you. (As attractive as it is.)

“I dare you to finish that sentence.”

That’s enough to get Mike to throw his hands up in an _I surrender_ move, and step backwards again. (He almost falls over his own feet, and you suppress a giggle.)

“Okay, okay. I know when I’ve lost.” You almost scoff. If that was true, he’d have backed off a long time ago - but at least he’s leaving, and you turn to Lena.

“Hi,” you say, as she extracts herself from under your arm. She stays close though, because it’s loud in here and you’re sure Mike’s still watching you, even if he’s probably just hoping to see you make out, not trying to catch you in a lie.  “Thanks.”

“I didn’t overstep, did I? You just looked _really_ uncomfortable and he looked kind of creepy - ”

“Yeah, no, he is, and I was, that’s fine, thank you! I was just wishing my sister or someone would come save me, so, like, yeah, you’re good. A godsend, really. Answer to my kinda prayers? I dunno, but nope, no overstepping here.”

You’re aware that there are maybe too many words coming out of your mouth but you’re honestly just so _relieved_ and definitely also a little drunk, yep, because there is just no way that Lena’s eyes are actually that green - oh, maybe one is a little more blue than the other. Would it be weird to ask her to go somewhere with better lighting so you can look? Asking a stranger to a _better_ lit area isn’t creepy, right? Oh, and maybe you should focus on what she’s saying instead of internally debating the colour(s) of her eyes.

(Distantly the thought forms that it’s a really good thing that Lena came along before your latest drink really took effect, which it is now, because given the state you’re in, you definitely would’ve punched Mike.)

“I was really close to punching him, so you actually saved both me and his face. From me. Punching him. In the face.”

Lena stops talking - oh, you interrupted her, how rude, Kara - to laugh at you. It doesn’t offend you, though. It’s a low chuckle and it does things to your body and _shit_ she’s attractive. You’re just about to tell her that - because your body is just now also reminding you of the way it felt when she kissed your cheek, and the way her body felt against your side - when the bartender _finally_ hands you the tray of drinks you ordered what feels like ages ago.

“As funny - and kind of hot - as that would have been,” Lena says, “I’m glad I was here to help.”

“Yeah, me too,” you say, carefully picking up the tray of drinks from the counter. (Alex doesn’t like it when you spill her drinks, and you doubt the rest of your friends would be pleased, either.) “Hey, do you want to join me and my friends? We have one of the big booths in the back, and they’re really cool, and oh, Mike might actually still be there. So actually, it’d be good if you came with me. Unless you’re here with someone already, because _wow_ , look at you, of course you’re not here alone and you were just being nice and saving me from the creepy guy -“

She laughs again and softly touches your arm to stop you from rambling - gosh, you talk a lot when you’re drunk, this is _so_ not the time to be meeting pretty girls. “I’d love to join you, Kara, my friend actually just ditched me to go make out with some guy.”

“Great!” You grin, and she returns it within a second. “Follow me.”

She grabs the back of your shirt somewhere along the line, you guess so she doesn’t lose you in the considerable crowd, and it’s kind of adorable. Under normal circumstances you’d have taken her hand to lead her that way, but you need both of yours to keep the drinks tray steady. You reach your table and just as you put the tray down to cheers from your friends, her knuckles brush the skin on the small of your back, just above the line of your jeans, when she lets go. The contact sends what feels like a bolt of electricity through your body, and you suppress a shiver.

“Everyone, this is Lena, my - “ You take a quick look around to find that Mike isn’t in his seat next to Jesse, and his jacket is gone from the back of his chair - victory! “Lena finally got Mike to back off by pretending to be my girlfriend, it was awesome. Why haven’t any of you done it? It worked so well, we should’ve done it forever ago! And you call yourselves my friends.”

“Uhm, Kara, everyone at this table is in a relationship,” Alex says, looking amused, “and Mike knows that, because he’s been hanging out with us for the last two months, trying to get into your pants? Not to mention I’m your _sister._ ”

“Fine, you get off on a technicality,” you say, and Lena’s soft chuckle behind you reminds you that she’s there. Not that you forgot, you could never forget her. You hook your arm through hers to pull her to stand next to you. “So, Lena, this is the gang. That’s Alex, my sister, and her girlfriend Lucy, and that’s Winn, my best bud, and his boyfriend Jesse.”

Lena gives a small wave and you find it ridiculously cute. It’s unfair, really.

Lucy pushes Alex further into the booth so Lena can slide in next to her, and you slide in after her.

“And don’t worry, we don’t only make friends with gay people. James is usually our token straight friend, but he’s not here tonight,” Lucy says, and okay, she’s definitely more drunk than you are. Lena laughs at her, though, and shrugs.

“Not to worry, I’d make the cut either way.”

Lucy high fives her, both of them with huge grins on their faces. A realization hits you.

“Lena!” You want to facepalm yourself. You’ve been stupid. “I completely should have offered to buy you a drink, I’m an idiot. As a thank you! For saving me.”

“It’s okay -“

“Here, you can have Mike’s. Vodka soda alright?”

“Perfect,” she says, squeezing your hand in thanks. You think again how pretty she is, how soft her skin is, and how interesting her eyes are, and that you’d love the chance to see them in the sunlight. Also her jaw, and the way her hair’s in a high messy ponytail and it makes her jaw even _more_ prominent. You also think there’s a tiny little beauty mark right in the center of her throat, but ducking down to look would make it seem like you’re staring at her boobs, and - not that you don’t find them - it’s just. Okay. Stop. You just want to, at some point in the not too distant future, have the opportunity to look at Lena some more. Preferably in some better lighting.

Maybe, if you’re lucky, you’ll get it.

***

Lena gets along really well with all your friends. A little too well, actually - the conversation quickly turns to them just teasing you, and telling Lena all these embarrassing things you really don’t want her to know. Because you want her to think you’re cool, not a bumbling mess. At least until she knows you well enough to find the bumbling endearing. And as pretty as Lena is when she laughs, there’s only so much you can take.

“And then Kara has the _audacity_ to complain about people finding her attractive -”

“That’s _not_ what it is, Alex, and you know it. All my friends fall in love with me! I just want _one_ friend who doesn’t!”

“Still, people _liking_ you isn’t something -”

“Do you want me to tell Lena about how your girlfriend was one of those people?”

“Hey!” Lucy interjects. “Don’t drag me into this!”

That shuts Alex up, and you smile triumphantly. Ha. Kara 1, Alex 0.

“Low blow, Kara, but fine. Hey, Lena, let me tell you about the time Kara broke her arm, instead. So this one, when she was about seven, was convinced she was Supergirl, and…”

You tune out of the conversation in favor of staring at Lena some more (you’re pretty sure you wouldn’t mind to look at her for the rest of time) as she listens intently. (You know the story Alex is telling well, and it’s harmless, even cute, if you do say so yourself. It might win you some points in Lena’s book, actually.) You’ve been looking at her long enough now that you start to notice little details, and they drive you kind of crazy - the black ring on her right thumb, the slight unevenness of her smile, and you’re almost sure now that her eyes are two different colours. That’s definitely a beauty spot on Lena’s neck, though, and you’re suddenly overcome with the need to kiss it. Your hand is halfway to the back of her neck to pull her closer when you catch yourself, and okay, maybe it’s time to switch to water.

“I’m gonna go get some water, anybody else want some?”

You come back with a glass for yourself as well as one for Lena, and a few steps from the table you catch her eye. She smiles, and suddenly your whole body is warm. You’ve been feeling floaty since your last drink, you always do when you’re drunk – but with the addition of that smile, pointed directly at you? You feel like you’re legitimately _flying_.

***

You wake up, closing your eyes almost immediately after opening them because _why the heck is it so bright in here?_ You open your eyes again, slowly this time, just in time to see Lena disappear out of your bedroom door.

Wait.

Lena? In your bedroom? Did you…? You do a quick mental tally, no, you’re still mostly dressed, in your shirt, underwear and socks from last night. (Drunk you at least remembered to take off the skintight jeans this time – now _that_ had been an unpleasant morning.) She definitely did sleep in your bed though. The next thing you notice is the glass of water on your bedside table, so it seems maybe more probable that Lena just brought you home and –

Wait! Lena’s _leaving_!

You’re out of your bed way too fast, it makes your head pound something fierce, but you ignore it – you have a sick feeling that if you let Lena leave now you might never see her again, and that’s just not something you can let happen.

You catch up to her just as she’s about to open the front door.

“Are you sneaking out of my apartment right now?”

She jumps, before turning around slowly, looking sheepish.

“Listen, Kara, I –“

“Why would you leave?” You’re not going to lie, it kind of hurts – you thought you two really hit it off,and you were looking forward to getting to know her. You thought she felt the same way. Then you realize maybe too much of that hurt slipped into your tone, and you go for a more joking one. “I’ll have you know, I make killer pancakes.”

Lena seems to make a decision, and suddenly she’s walking up to you and looking kind of angry, and wow, that glare of hers really _is_ attractive. (But also really scary when pointed directly at you, you can see why Mike finally backed off.)

“Kara, you spent the whole night complaining about how people fall for you, and I’ve been doing my damndest to _not_ do that, to be the _just friend_ you so desperately want, but you just – you do these _things,_ and I just – you fucking pulled me into bed with you last night! ‘Please don’t leave, Lena, cuddles!’ Like, how am I not supposed to fall for someone that cute? And now you want to make me _pancakes_? For fuck’s sake, Kara, if this is who you are, it’s no wonder all your friends fall in love with you! You’re like the perfect girl!”

You try very hard not to laugh, you really do, but you’re so tired and a little hungover and she’s being so cute, and –

“And now you’re laughing at me. Okay, I’m going to leave now –“

“No!” You suddenly come to your senses, and reach out to grab her hand. She pulls it back angrily, but she stops moving towards the door, so you count it as a win. She looks at you expectantly, and oh, maybe you should actually continue talking. (Your hungover brain had been stuck on how her eyes really _are_ two different colours, albeit only slightly, but in the sunlight streaming in from behind you it’s clear. And also unspeakably beautiful.)

“I understand your confusion, I do, I’m not very articulate under the best of circumstances, never mind when I’m drunk. When I was saying that stuff – about my friends falling for me – it’s not about – it’s just. Listen, it’s – look, I like you, a lot, okay? You’re funny, and interesting, not to mention really pretty. The friend thing is – it’s about how bad and guilty it makes me feel when I can’t return the feelings, which is not the case here. It’s not about them liking me, it’s about me not being able to like them back, and that always strains the friendship and I don’t – I mean I understand why you would take it to mean that I don’t want a relationship. But that’s not it. I’d very much like to get to know you, in a romantic capacity, I mean.”

As you talk, Lena’s angry look slowly dissolves into something softer. Something you’re almost inclined to call affection, and it makes your body feel all warm again, just like last night.

“You don’t want to just be my friend?”

“Nope.”

She takes a step closer.

“The pancakes are romantic?”

“Most romantic pancakes you’ll ever have. I could even make them in the shape of hearts, if you want.”

She’s right in front of you now, so close you can feel her breath when she speaks again.

“You like me?”

You kiss her, and she seems to accept it as an answer, because she kisses you back. And boy, if you thought you felt like you were flying last night, you have no idea what this is. It seems impossible that someone’s lips could be this soft, that it could feel this good to have her in your arms. You pull her closer, tightening your arms around her waist, but it’s not close enough, and it goes from soft and unsure to hot and heavy in a millisecond. You want to get _lost_ in her. Your hands move to her thighs and you pick her up, and the sound she lets out as she wraps her legs around your waist is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard.

“Bedroom?” you whisper against her lips, and she nods almost comically hard, making your heads knock together. As if on cue, your stomach rumbles loudly, and you both laugh. (The way she hides her face in your neck gives you that warm feeling again.)

“How about those pancakes?” you ask, putting her down gently. This was maybe moving a little too fast, anyway. Lena stays close, linking her fingers behind your neck.

“Sounds like a date.”

“Great. One stack of heart-shaped pancakes coming right up.” You make your way to the kitchen, smirking over your shoulder as you begin gathering ingredients. “You know, just so you can be sure of my intentions.”

“Fuck you.”

You wink. “Maybe after breakfast.”

She’s beautiful when she rolls her eyes and sends you an exasperated but adoring smile. (You were right – you really could look at her forever.)

(If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll get the chance.)

 

***

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peep Chapter 2 for Lena's POV!


	2. Lena meets Kara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena's POV of this whole mess.

You’re walking across the dance floor to do something stupid. Something _immensely_ stupid.

So, maybe you’ve seen one too many _OMG this girl saved me from this creepy guy in a bar_ Tumblr posts. Maybe you’re just a good person. Maybe the girl this guy’s talking to is way too pretty for him to be talking to, maybe the girl looks genuinely uncomfortable and maybe you saw her when you first came into the club and you’ve been trying to work up the courage to talk to her for the last hour and a half.

(It’s definitely all of the above.)

(Maybe Jack, who brought you out tonight to be your wingman because you finally admitted that you may want to start dating again, shouldn’t have ditched you ten minutes ago and left you alone to make stupid decisions like this. Even though you probably can’t really blame him, since, you know, you spent the last ninety minutes just pining from afar.)

Whatever the reason, you’re walking across the room, slipping your arm around a stranger’s waist, and saying words you never thought you’d say. (God, this is such a cliché.) A quick whisper into the girl’s ear, a practically non-existent kiss to her cheek, and then -

“Hey, babe, who’s your friend?”

The other girl stiffens for only a second before relaxing into the soft hold you have on her waist and smiling brightly. (You try to ignore the obvious feeling of muscle under your fingertips, though you’re not sure why you didn’t expect it when you saw her arms. You try to ignore a lot of things, like the ethereal beauty of her smile, the adorable crinkle of her nose, the welcome weight of her hand on your lower back and how _right_ it feels.)

“I was just telling Mike here that I _really_ don’t want to go home with him. Mike, this is my girlfriend - “

“Lena,” you interrupt, and the guy - Mike - looks at the two of you suspiciously.

“Kara didn’t mention she had a girlfriend,” he says, glaring at you.

Kara. _Kara._ Even her name is pretty. God, you’re going to regret this.

“It’s still really new,” Kara says, “and I was trying to let you down easy. Can you leave me alone now?”

“I mean I could… or you two could both come - “

“I dare you to finish that sentence,” you say, getting up in his space with your best intimidating glare. (It’s been known to make some people cry.) The way he almost falls on his ass when he steps back already makes the whole thing worth it, even if you’re never going to forget the way this girl feels against your side. God, you’re a mess, she’s going to haunt you forever, isn’t she? But the creep is kind of apologizing and leaving, so it’s still a win.

When he’s out of sight, you extract yourself from under her arm, though you stay close to be able to hear her. You’re suddenly worried, though, that you maybe went too far - even though she just thanked you, you did kind of just jump in. You start to apologize, but she cuts you off with an adorable ramble, and you almost sigh when you recognize the feeling in your chest. You’re falling already, for her clear blue eyes and her melodic voice and her seemingly slightly violent tendencies - “From me. Punching him. In the face.” - and this is why you stopped dating. (You always fall so much faster and harder than the other person and you end up getting hurt every time, it was just easier to not try at all.)

You can’t help but laugh when she mentions the punching, and you almost automatically flirt with her. (It seems wrong not to tell her how hot she is - you really wouldn’t mind to see her punch someone.)

“As funny - and kind of hot - as that would have been, I’m glad I was here to help.”

She’s adorable when she absentmindedly returns the sentiment, all her concentration on the tray of drinks you assume she ordered. There’s this crinkle right between her eyes, and you - you adore it already, you want to smooth it out with your thumb and kiss her forehead and… (You have to stop yourself there, you barely know this girl.) She invites you to join her, and you would’ve declined, but you think she might actually be trying to flirt - _wow, look at you -_ and Jack would be so proud if you came out of this with a phone number. Not to mention that she’s just plain beautiful, and you want to spend more time with her, and she _asked._

(Who are you kidding, you’ve been hoping this would happen since you walked into the club and spotted her dancing.)

You almost lose her in the crowd and almost automatically grab the back of her shirt to keep her close. You of course obsess over if it’s okay, but that only lasts for a second when you see that she’s smiling. This might actually be going somewhere, so you purposely let your fingers brush the skin of her lower back when you let go, and you enjoy the flexing of her back the action causes.

“Everyone, this is Lena, my - Lena finally got Mike to back off by pretending to be my girlfriend, it was awesome.”

 

***

You like the easy way Kara interacts with her friends, and you find yourself liking them too. You can already tell you’re going to get along spectacularly with Lucy, Winn seems to share your love of physics and space, and Jesse has a quiet wit to him that you quite enjoy. Alex is a little intimidating, but you think it’s mostly because you can tell how protective she is of Kara. (You don’t even think she’s trying to intimidate you intentionally - _you_ just know what your intentions are with her little sister, the intimidation is probably all in your head. You tend to overthink. Alex is nice.) Either way, they’re all fun and funny and you’re thoroughly enjoying yourself, which kind of surprises you.

Alex launches into another story about Kara, and you listen intently, eager to learn everything you can about the girl pressed into your side. (She’s _so_ warm, and it feels _so_ nice, and sometime in the last few minutes her arm found its way to the back of your chair and _dammit_ you’re definitely falling already.) But at least it seems like Kara is in a similar situation - she can’t seem to stop looking at you. There’s definite staring, it’s almost like she’s studying you, memorising you, and all the while she has this soft smile on her face and you just - you think maybe the feeling might be mutual.

“And then Kara has the _audacity_ to complain about people finding her attractive - “

“That’s _not_ what it is, Alex, and you know it,” Kara interjects. “All my friends fall in love with me! I just want _one_ friend who doesn’t!”

The words feel like a dagger to your chest, and suddenly you’re numb all over. She doesn’t want a relationship. Of course she doesn’t. Honestly, you should’ve seen it coming - she was already in the process of turning someone down when you met her, it’s not like - and she’s just drunk, that’s why she’s been staring, she’s probably just been spacing out. God, you’re an idiot. Why would she be interested in you anyway? She has people falling at her feet, and she turns them all down, why would you be any different?

(Who do you think you are, thinking a _goddess_ like this would be interested in you, anyway?)

As Alex tells yet another unfairly adorable story about Kara (she broke her arm when she fell out of a tree trying to save a kitten, because she thought she was Supergirl, which, how are you supposed to not fall for her?) you resolve to be Kara’s friend, and just her friend. Because this thing with her friends all falling for her obviously bothers her a lot, you heard the distress in her voice. She just wants a friend, one normal friendship that doesn’t end up strained in some way. You can be what she needs - a best friend, a shoulder to cry on, someone to confide in. You don’t need to be her girlfriend, and cutting her off entirely is out of the question. You’re already addicted to the way she makes you feel.

You can totally just be her friend.

(There wouldn’t be anything _‘just’_ about being her friend, anyway, she’s the type of person who goes all in for the people she loves, if the stories her friends tell are anything to go by.)

***

You totally can’t be just her friend.

There’s just something - there’s this moment. She comes back with your water, and just before she reaches the table, your eyes lock, and she gets this brilliant smile on her face. And the way she lights up when she sees you - and you know, you _know_ all the people she loves are at this table, she’s not necessarily smiling at you, you know this - but she just completely lights up, and it feels like it’s meant just for you. Her whole face explodes in this beautiful grin and you know then and there that there’s no way in hell you’ll be able to be her friend without falling for her. (You ignore that you maybe already have.)

 _Just tonight,_ you tell yourself. You’ll play out the night, have some fun with her - you already know if you leave now she’ll be sad, and you don’t think your poor gay heart can handle that - and then you’ll disappear from her life and you won’t be just another strained friendship, you’ll be a fond memory.

Yeah. Yeah, that’ll work.

 

***

It does work, kind of. Even though Kara does all these _things_ that, if you didn’t know better, would definitely mean she’s into you.

Like, Kara drags you to the dancefloor, and she’s so damn alluring, you can’t even find it in yourself to resist. At first, it’s all silly jumps and giggles, and you laugh your way through her dorky movements and her happy smiles. But then, you have to breathe your way through _actually_ dancing with her, so close you can feel her breath on your lips. The way she moves, the way she looks at you, the way she pulls you closer… it’s all slightly confusing. (She’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.)

You’re almost sure by now she’s continuously checking you out; her gaze seems to linger mostly on your neck, and she spends long moments just staring at your eyes.

She repeats the word _chocolate,_ comically slowly, to prove that she’s not slurring her words, counting the syllables on her fingers adorably. (No one should have the right to be that cute.)

She cuddles up to you in the booth, talking animatedly about some story she’s working on for the paper, and you hang on her every word. She talks with her hands, with her whole body, and it’s really unfair how cute it is. She’s so damn passionate, even when she’s out of it, and she’s adorable. (You adore her already.)

And maybe you feel yourself falling, hard, but it’s okay. You’ll disappear after tonight and you’ll never see her again. It’ll hurt for a while, but you’ll get over it, and Kara won’t be stuck with yet another friend who fell for her. It’s the right thing to do. (You’d gladly sacrifice your own feelings to keep that smile on her face.)

“Lena! Lena, can you tell Alex we have to go now? I’m _tired.”_

You’re pulled from your thoughts by Kara literally pulling on your arm, and you look over to find her pouting (once again, adorably) and Alex looking fed up. Alex and Lucy are so intertwined you can’t tell where one begins and the other ends.

“Kara, it’s barely even midnight. I don’t want to go home yet.”

“But -”

“I’ll take you home.” Somehow the words are out of your mouth before they’ve even made it through your brain. Alex and Lucy both look at you with raised eyebrows, Lucy with a smirk on her face, and you roll your eyes. You turn your attention to Kara. “Not like _that._ I just mean we can share a cab, leave your sister to hang out with her girlfriend some more.”

Kara squeals, _actually_ squeals, and then you’re wrapped in a bundle of happy blonde. (Not that you’re complaining.) Why she’d be this happy that you’re sharing a cab home with her, you don’t know, but Kara’s been happy and bubbly all night, so that’s probably just the way she is. You did see her do a happy dance when her spicy chicken wings came, after all.

“Thank you, Lena! Let’s go!”

She grabs your hand and drags you out of the booth, to the tune of Lucy yelling at you to “use protection, kids!” Kara just giggles, but you take it upon yourself to give Lucy the finger. She sticks out her tongue, and you momentarily grieve for the great friendship you could’ve gained if you didn’t have to, you know, avoid them for the rest of your life.

Kara doesn’t let go of your hand, you notice, throughout the whole wait for the cab, and the whole ride to her apartment. You try not to read too much into it, from what you’ve witnessed Kara is a pretty tactile person - this is probably what she always does. And you _know_ she doesn’t want to be with anyone right now, so if your beating heart could just get that message, please.

She lets you in, and immediately heads to what you assume is her bedroom. What can you do but follow? She’s still quite drunk, you reason with yourself, you just want to make sure she’s okay. ( _Sure, Lena._ )

“Ugh, I am _so_ tired. I don’t know how people can party the whole night after _just_ finishing a whole month of exams? Like, all I want is to sleep.”

She pulls off her boots, and you smile involuntarily at her mismatched socks - one a soft pink, the other the brightest yellow you have ever seen. The next thing you know she’s undoing her belt and pulling down her pants, and you only have time to think _oh my god LEGS_ before your brain catches up to you and you spin around while simultaneously slamming your hand over your eyes. Kara seems so have no issue with undressing in front of you but you _cannot_ handle this, you need to get out of here - water! You’ll go get a glass of water from the kitchen, and hopefully by the time you come back Kara will be dressed in pajamas, or whatever.

You almost sigh in relief when you come back and she’s snuggled under the covers - which is fucking adorable and poses a host of other problems, but at least it doesn’t make you want to ask her to throw you up against a wall and have her way with you. (It does make you want to crawl in there with her and never leave, though, which - maybe that’s worse. Fuck it, you don’t even know anymore. You’re way too far gone and you need to leave _right now._ )

You place the water on her nightstand and resist the urge to take off her glasses and brush the hair from her face. You really have to get out of here before you do something stupid, like kiss her forehead.

“Thanks, Lena,” she whispers, and your heart melts at the cuteness. (It’s going to take so long to get over her.)

“Anytime,” you say, and almost cringe at the lie. “If you’re okay now, I think I’ll head out…”

She grumbles sleepily, and suddenly there’s a warm hand on your wrist. “Please don’t leave, Lena. Cuddles,” she says, then nods as if that settles it. The next thing you know she’s pulled you down on top of her, and with a surprising amount of coordination (and a slightly less surprising amount of strength), she’s maneuvered you both under the covers. Her arm’s around your waist and your head is comfortably pillowed on her shoulder, and you can feel her nose nuzzling the top of your head.

“Is this okay?” she murmurs, and you should really say no and get the hell out of here, but she’s so warm and so soft and so _perfect,_ surely you can give yourself this? Just for one night? You know the answer to this is also no, that you’re just hurting both of you more, but you find yourself nodding into her neck. (And then revelling in the happy little sigh it pulls from Kara, and the way her whole body relaxes against yours. You’re so screwed.)

You kick off your shoes, resigning yourself to your fate. Then you breathe her in and you close your eyes, and to your own surprise, you fall asleep.

 

***

You wake up in much the same way as you fell asleep, with the exception that Kara’s arm around your waist has loosened enough that you can slip out of bed without waking her up. Which you do, as quickly as possible, because in the bright light of morning you know more than ever that last night was a mistake. (If only because it was the best night of sleep you’ve had in the longest time, and you’re really not sure how you’re going to ever sleep without the feeling of her with you again.)

You pick up your shoes at the foot of the bed, and you can’t help but steal a glance in Kara’s direction, taking a second just to take her in. She is so, so beautiful. (She looks downright angelic in the morning light.)

Okay, time to go. It takes more out of you than you’re willing to admit to turn away and head out the door, but you do. The door to what you assume is Alex’s room is closed, and you’re almost home free when -

“Are you sneaking out of my apartment right now?”

You jump at the sound of her voice. You were so close - if only you hadn’t stopped to stare at her, you’d probably have made it out. Damn it. You slowly turn around, embarrassed and not looking forward to the inevitable conversation at all. (Plus, she still looks so _good,_ and she’s still not wearing pants, and this is going to be difficult.)

“Listen, Kara, I - “

She looks like a kicked puppy when she interrupts you, and she sounds like one too. “Why would you leave?” Oh god, she sounds absolutely heartbroken and you cannot be responsible for that - what kind of terrible person makes the literal personification of sunshine sad? You -

“I’ll have you know, I make killer pancakes.”

Suddenly, you’re angry. Recklessly frustrated and angry. She doesn’t get to make you fall for her, complain about people falling for her, pull you into bed and cuddle you into a good night’s sleep, not want a relationship but act heartbroken that you won’t stay, and then offer to make you fucking _pancakes._ Maybe the fact that it’s the pancakes that do it is ridiculous, but your reasoning stands. There are too many mixed signals here, you’re confused, and the way she’s looking at you is not helping.

“Kara, you spent the whole night complaining about how people fall for you, and I’ve been doing my damndest to _not_ do that, to be the _just friend_ you so desperately want, but you just – you do these _things,_ and I just – you fucking pulled me into bed with you last night! ‘Please don’t leave, Lena, cuddles!’ Like, how am I not supposed to fall for someone that cute? And now you want to make me _pancakes_? For fuck’s sake, Kara, if this is who you are, it’s no wonder all your friends fall in love with you! You’re like the perfect girl!”

You’re surprised you got all that out, and Kara looks slightly scared, but you’re glad you did. There’s no reason for this to be an internal battle, you’re both adults, she should have to deal with this too. It’s mostly her fault anyway - is Kara _laughing_ right now?

“And now you’re laughing at me. Okay, I’m going to leave now - “

(Maybe she’s too good to be true.)

“No!” A hand grabs your wrist and you pull it back fiercely, proud of yourself for not giving in even though you turn around to face her. (She heard you out, the least you can do is give her the same courtesy.) You wait, giving her an expectant look, trying to ignore the way she stares into your eyes, seemingly in another plane of existence. You realise she’s probably at least slightly hungover, and maybe you’d feel sorry for her if she hadn’t just laughed in your face. She finally starts talking, if one can call her nervous rambling that, and despite yourself, you find that it melts your heart.

“I understand your confusion, I do, I’m not very articulate under the best of circumstances, never mind when I’m drunk. When I was saying that stuff – about my friends falling for me – it’s not about – it’s just. Listen, it’s – look, I like you, a lot, okay? You’re funny, and interesting, not to mention really pretty.”

Your heart skips a beat, and you intentionally soften your glare. She likes you. (And, to a lesser extent, she thinks you’re pretty.)

“The friend thing is – it’s about how bad and guilty it makes me feel when I can’t return the feelings, which is not the case here. It’s not about them liking me, it’s about me not being able to like them back, and that always strains the friendship and I don’t – I mean I understand why you would take it to mean that I don’t want a relationship. But that’s not it. I’d very much like to get to know you, in a romantic capacity, I mean.”

By the time she’s done, you know you’re looking at her with the softest of gazes. You step closer, trying not to get distracted by the way she’s nervously chewing on her bottom lip.

“You don’t want to just be my friend?” It’s soft and needy, and you’d kick yourself if this was anyone else, but it’s just Kara and you’ve already spilled your guts anyway.

“Nope.” It’s soft, but sure, uttered into the space between you, and it’s like it hangs there for a moment. You can’t resist the urge to step even more into her space.

“The pancakes are romantic?”

That gets you a silly smile, and somehow it means more than all the trophies you’ve ever won combined.

“Most romantic pancakes you’ll ever have. I could even make them in the shape of hearts, if you want.”

She has a gravitational pull, this girl. (Newton’s Gravitational Law says everything does, really, but Kara definitely has some sort of as yet undiscovered factor. You’ll figure it out, someday, when you’re not too busy being pulled into her orbit.) Your next words are practically whispered against her lips.

“You like me?”

She kisses you, like you hoped she would, and it’s more of an answer than you ever could have hoped for. It stays soft for about a second before she licks into your mouth and all bets are off. You suddenly can’t get close enough, and when she picks you up, you don’t even fully register the sound you make at the clear display of strength. (Even though it does have you thinking about her arms again, and fuck, you bet she looks _so_ good naked.)

“Bedroom?” she asks, and you can’t nod fast enough. However, it seems you _can_ nod too hard, and your heads bump together, before Kara’s stomach rumbles loudly, the moment broken. You laugh it off, but you’re suddenly very aware and very embarrassed of that sound you made and you try to hide your blush in her neck. (She smells exquisite.)

“How about those pancakes?”

She’s back to adorable instead of painfully sexy just like that, and you let her softly put you down, though you can’t bear to be too far away. It’s that whole gravitational pull thing, you convince yourself. (It’s math, or physics, or - shut up.)

“Sounds like a date.”

“Great. One stack of heart-shaped pancakes coming right up.” You’re almost too distracted by the way her shirt rides up when she reaches for something in the top cabinet to hear her next words.  “You know, just so you can be sure of my intentions.”

“Fuck you.” (The words are undercut by the huge grin on your face, because she likes you, and she kissed you.)

And then she winks, and you’re a gay mess again. “Maybe after breakfast.” She’s ridiculous and kind of cocky, but she’s also making you breakfast and you have a spectacular view of her legs right now, so your eye-roll is very half-hearted.

 

***

A plate with a stack of two heart-shaped pancakes is slid in front of you, and you laugh as Kara’s shoulder bumps your own when she sits down next to you.

“Is that a bacon smiley face?”

“It is, because I’m happy that you’re still here.”

You just shake your head and kiss her, because that’s a thing that you can do now, and she tastes like golden syrup. Her hand has just found its way to the back of your neck when you’re very rudely interrupted.

“Ha! I called it!”

You pull away from Kara’s lips reluctantly, to find Lucy and Alex emerging from the other bedroom. Lucy’s grinning like the cat that got the cream, and Alex looks grumpy.

“Really, Kara?” she says, “You couldn’t take the girl on a date before dragging her to bed? Now I owe Lucy ten bucks!”

Kara splutters adorably, and you’re reminded of the effortless way she picked you up, was ready to carry you to the bedroom - you’re extremely fascinated by the paradox that is this girl.

“We didn’t - I mean - there was no. Uhm. Lena. We didn’t do that - there has been no sex!”

Lucy laughs loudly, and even Alex cracks a smile.

“We’d be more inclined to believe you if you were wearing pants, Kara.”

Kara looks down, blushes, and runs off to her room only to come back in sweats. (She’s fast, and you’re grateful, because you’re not quite ready for a shovel talk yet.)

“I’ll have you know, I’m a perfect gentlewoman, and I _will_ take Lena on a date first.”

Alex grins.

“Ha, babe, now you owe _me_ ten bucks!”

As Alex and Lucy pull up chairs and pile their plates high with pancakes and bacon, you can’t help but smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

(Today kind of feels like the start of the rest of your life.)

***

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you thought! Either here or @rosa-bi-az on Tumblr. Also, hey, this is my 50th fic! What a ride it's been!
> 
> Check out the other works in the collection if you want!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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